So here I am. Take me

So here I am. It's 12:27am and I'm writing my very first blog. This random inconvenient time suites me though. My best ideas often come too late or too big to be feasible but nonetheless here I am!

I'm not sure what I'm going to get out of this. I don't know if this will be therapeutic or inspirational or even interesting to others. I don't expect to have many followers or anything like that but the perfect chaos that resonates through out my life is far to wonderful to keep in my head. Speaking of keeping things in my head... I can't. I've had ADD since I discovered I could turn my head. Everything is multi dimensional and colorful and has a beginning and a purpose and there are far too many things to think about all at the same time. I hope this blog can be focused enough not to drive the few followers I may or may have not have completely and utterly mad. So here I am. Take me.

The end of the year is here and once again its time to make promises and resolutions that usually last me until February. Eat less, exercise more, be more patient, be kinder, be positive, pray more, make the next step in my big life plan. Next year I'm going to be more realistic starting with my resolutions. I will eat and exercise according to what I want to look like. I will try not to focus on the people I need patience for which I hope will make me kinder and more positive. I will schedule prayers in my daily calendar right next to: make the next step in my life plan and get my hair done before I begin to scare the neighbors.
The thing is, I believe I've become a mindless reactor going through the list of reasonable responses required to getting by. I hear an alarm I wake up. Rent is due so I work. I want a good reference for my resume so I show up to work on time. Sometimes I wonder deep deep down if nothing happened to me for me to react to if I'd do anything? Before I run the risk of sorting through the reason of life at now 12:55am I will say I do believe I would hang out with my family if I had no other engagements. I'd sit at the dinner table with them and laugh till no sound comes out my up turned head. I'd meet a young man who would love to be my cooking guinea pig and get married and have my own family so they could come home for dinner and laugh till no sound comes out. My husband and I would travel and learn new things about the world you can only know by being there and be inspired by what we see. I'd get old and gray and share memories and knowledge about things people can barely conceive. That's what I'd do. I'd react to the things that I dream about. Maybe I should pencil that in to my schedule too... Right after getting my hair done...