Bitterly wrote this like 3 years ago and never posted it. After reading it again I decided to post because it no longer hurts to do so and is deep! Snap snap yeah that's me!
Letting go of the bad memories would mean letting go of the good ones
So I'll wait for someone to pick me up at the intersection of take me and taken
The definition of available rewritten in tears of anger, disappointment and fear -You displaced me where I was vulnerable
Pushed me away slowly hoping I wouldn't recognize the ripping sound my trust makes?
Disconnected us one phone call at a time hoping I wouldn't hear the silence?
Hoping I would accept the charges of reality's collect call from where I shoulda been -I recognize you even when your back is turned
My only request is that you please slam the door next time you tip toe away from my love
The knob to my heart has some wear but it'll still lock behind you
Take your inside jokes, smells, love songs and butterflies with you -I watched you fade into my pain
And now I can't see beyond where I think you are now
Lost at sea with these memories that aren't ours
Knowing my pride's waters are only rising, washing away every hope and every wish of me ever swimming back closer to you -Your quiet and gentle surrender was never for me
Killing me softly plays in the background of your last chance's dismissal
Praying that before you can turn to say goodbye I'm already frozen
While you back away behind the excuses and BS that you hope keep me warm at night just know -I noticed your white flag before you ever had to raise it
Monday, November 25, 2013
I Always Come Back
Can I just say, I am so thankful to have the same computer for the last 8 years. Sure it has it's nostalgic qualities, old embarrassing pictures I can't erase and school papers from those sleepless college nights. But this computer's greatest treasure is the saved password feature. Without this feature, I probably wouldn't be able to access and (somewhat) maintain this very blog.
A new friend of mine and I were talking the other day and he encouraged me to write a blog. (Whether or not that's a compliment or a covert way of saying shut up and tell someone who cares.. I'm not sure) Nonetheless, it was at that moment that I remembered that I had a blog and that I hadn't written in it for at least 2 years... What an opportunity!!! (Shameful)
Let me catch you up before I start this wave of Blogger attention and short term mental investment.. I am still working for the same company that hired me 2 years ago only now I've been promoted to an Executive Director of my own Boys & Girls Club (I know, who signed off on that one?!). I'm still working and residing in the Metro Atlanta area and I'm still the same single distracted black woman of faith plus 2 years. Don't get me wrong, the single part is a mere convenient similarity.. Not a habitual state of existence. All I'll state on the subject (Mom and Dad) is that I am patiently waiting on God for someone worth writing home about or at least Blogging about thank you.
Isn't it funny how once women reach a certain age it seems like everyone is waiting on you to get married and have 2-3 kids? You'd think my new dog would keep the wolves at bay... I mean it doesn't help that every time I log onto Facebook someone else from my hometown is getting married (including my baby brother). This I can admit is a large reason why I don't check my Facebook as often as I used to. If I have to like one more wedding photo or comment "OMG he/she is soooooo adorable" I might explode. I mean sure, I'm happy for my friends... And yes their kids are freakin cute but what people need to understand is..... Wait... I digress to "All I'll state on the subject (Mom and Dad) is that I am patiently waiting on God for someone worth writing home about or at least Blogging about thank you".
I have so much to tell you my Blogger but my attention span window is closing fast. Tonight I'll narrow down the most important stories to tell and start writing them down ASAP. God has taken me to some very interesting places since I last wrote and he has been developing me on so many levels. I am currently in the middle of two trials that I know about so far so with that said, bear with me as I sort some of these things out along the way. I'll be back. I always come back.
A new friend of mine and I were talking the other day and he encouraged me to write a blog. (Whether or not that's a compliment or a covert way of saying shut up and tell someone who cares.. I'm not sure) Nonetheless, it was at that moment that I remembered that I had a blog and that I hadn't written in it for at least 2 years... What an opportunity!!! (Shameful)
Let me catch you up before I start this wave of Blogger attention and short term mental investment.. I am still working for the same company that hired me 2 years ago only now I've been promoted to an Executive Director of my own Boys & Girls Club (I know, who signed off on that one?!). I'm still working and residing in the Metro Atlanta area and I'm still the same single distracted black woman of faith plus 2 years. Don't get me wrong, the single part is a mere convenient similarity.. Not a habitual state of existence. All I'll state on the subject (Mom and Dad) is that I am patiently waiting on God for someone worth writing home about or at least Blogging about thank you.
Isn't it funny how once women reach a certain age it seems like everyone is waiting on you to get married and have 2-3 kids? You'd think my new dog would keep the wolves at bay... I mean it doesn't help that every time I log onto Facebook someone else from my hometown is getting married (including my baby brother). This I can admit is a large reason why I don't check my Facebook as often as I used to. If I have to like one more wedding photo or comment "OMG he/she is soooooo adorable" I might explode. I mean sure, I'm happy for my friends... And yes their kids are freakin cute but what people need to understand is..... Wait... I digress to "All I'll state on the subject (Mom and Dad) is that I am patiently waiting on God for someone worth writing home about or at least Blogging about thank you".
I have so much to tell you my Blogger but my attention span window is closing fast. Tonight I'll narrow down the most important stories to tell and start writing them down ASAP. God has taken me to some very interesting places since I last wrote and he has been developing me on so many levels. I am currently in the middle of two trials that I know about so far so with that said, bear with me as I sort some of these things out along the way. I'll be back. I always come back.
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