Evaporating Thoughts

Only once in a lifetime do we meet people like you...
The one who overflows all your levies, barriers and walls
Makes you question love, society, gravity, yourself
The kind of people you loose yourself in willingly
Drowning in the waves of their beauty, their light

Those are the ones who you'll never get that piece of your heart back from
And you can't even go after it
Because the love they gave you even for that brief moment was worth that chunk of yourself
So you watch them disappear with you forever - a peaceful surrender

I think back on all the moments from before wondering...
If we really did have a chance? If doom was really what was lurking behind the brick wall
If that light we saw glowing behind it..
Was really the flash of us blowing up in each other's faces

I remember staring out of windows with both eyes closed listening to you
I remember running to the phone, holding your hand, praying for another chance....
Instead the tide of life washed away all the hope but left the memories behind
Building shrines on the foundation of our broken future

I'll always love that one and the watermark they left behind
A painful reminder of the beautiful renovation they did to my heart
You're still the perfect line to what I wish was my life's poem
The last wave to sweep away my heart

Exactly how big is a mustard seed anyway??

Yeah I did it. I Googled the word mustard seed because I've been struggling the last couple of days and I had to know. And if you have never seen one before... Yes, believe what they say... A mustard seed is tiny. So tiny that if someone threw one at me... I probably wouldn't notice -or care. Now that I've seen it I can't help but wonder... This is REALLY all the faith I need? In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says,  "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible". 

So according to the Nepali government, Mt. Everest is 29,029 feet. National Geographic says that it's 6 feet taller at 29,035 feet. I read this and in my undying quest for knowledge said, who cares its huge. But before clicking back over to my Facebook tab I read that "shifting tectonic plates continue to push Everest upward, along with the whole Himalya mountain range, at 1.6 to 3.9 inches per year". Ha! God you still sure a mustard seed is gonna do it? Just like Mt. Everest, my problems and issues are BIG and only getting BIGGER! And even the biggest mustard tree can't stand taller than a 29,000 foot (and and rising) mountain. 

The unemployment rate is rising along with the divorce rate, depression rate and suicide rate higher and higher each year. I can testify that, the older I get the more grown my problems seem to get and some of us need an answer now. Most of us need a job NOW. A cure NOW. A bill paid NOW. A change NOW. Peace NOW. 11:59 PM is the scariest part of the day because to us that is the last chance. That's when the bill hits the account, when the rent is overdue, when the house goes into foreclosure, when the plug is pulled from all hope and faith. But I have learned that God doesn't move because the notice says today in red or because we wont know what we'll do if he doesn't. God moves when it's time. His time. Sometimes it just works out that my clock and God's time sync up but not always.

I grew up listening to songs like On Time God. The song's chorus says, 

He may not come when you want him.

But he'll be there right on time.

 He's an on time God. -Yes he is"  

 It's true you know. God moves at the perfect time. He has got the perfect plan and has the perfect timing for everything. His plan is not our plan and our deadline wont make him rush. Let's be clear, God is all powerful, all knowing, all glorious. Honestly, we don't even deserve to speak his name. What makes us think that God dances to the tick of man's watch? What makes us think that we've seen and heard all that he can do? Faith in God means DON'T FREAK OUT. Allow him to handle everything, understand that he loves us and the time and capacity in which he moves may not be what we expect or when we expect it. 1st Peter 5: 6-7 says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.

John 2 tells a story about a wedding at Cana. There Jesus turned water into wine but it's important to hear the dialogue. Jesus' mother tells Jesus about the wine shortage and he says, "That's not our problem", he goes on to say, "My time has not yet come". 7 times in the book of John Jesus says this "My time has not yet come". Often in our impatience we ask God, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? But did we ever consider that just like how Jesus wasn't waiting on the money to buy more wine but for the water that God may have a different way in which he'd like to bless you? Would you have landed the better job if you were still working for the old one? Would we have cherished our loved ones this much if we knew they would never would leave us? Would we grow in faith if everything worked according to our plan? Be encouraged! It doesn't make sense, we don't get it, we may not like the wait, but God has promised us peace (John 14:27) and will never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:8). A mustard seed is about as small as the window we have into God's master plan. But that is okay. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer (Romans 12:12). In a world where even the biggest mustard tree doesn't seem big enough, nothing is impossible for God (Luke 1: 37).